You Won’t Hear Me Declare Hatred for 2016

I jump on bandwagons.  I do it a lot.   I don’t care about new the newest version of the iPhone, or any electronic devices for that matter.  However, when it comes to clothes, if I am financially capable of keeping up with the times, I am guilty of doing just that.  Even when I know better; that no matter how much money I attain or how big my closet gets, it will never be enough and will gratify me for only so long.  Money will forever be a looming concern because I wasn’t raised on the belief that is an abundant resource. Therefore I shouldn’t be reckless with it.  A cue I am hoping my brother, a remorseless spender who I adore, will pick up sometime relatively soon.  Plus, clothing companies are designed to continuously change to keep us void-fillers buying all of their shit on a rolling basis. The sick twist is that I love throwing things out.  I buy all of these things, then I get off on throwing them out.

Then there are the social media/viral fads.  Like a few years ago, when it was super trendy to let everyone know all the f**** your’re not going to give in the New Year, while everyone else conventionally vows to give all the f**** they think they should give.  I can appreciate it, because it’s funny and laughing is my favorite thing to aside from eat.  This humor comes about because there’s someone out there with enough witty humor to drudge through all that internet content and land on our screens. I commend them for that.

Then, other viral fads and the humor they produce stem from making the best out of a not so great situation.   Kind of like many people refer to 2016 as a “not so great situation.”  For example,  the flood of Joe Biden memes following Trump winning the presidential election.  That was a real suck fest of an election but I’d be lying if those memes didn’t help me accept it. Pure gold.

A lot of other really awful things happened in 2016.  The Orlando shooting at Pulse nightclub, the explosions in Turkey, the Bastille Day Terrorist Attack in Nice, and the attacks in Brussels. Britain exited the EU. The ongoing state of Syria. Increased attacks on police. Two of my most favorite musicians, David Bowie & Prince, died.  The presidential election in its entirety; the whole thing. Grabbing women by the pussy, but also that email scandal (both of them.)  They took George Michael from us on Christmas Day. Carrie Fisher & her mother Debbie Reynolds just a day apart from each other.

On a more personal level, my brother was in a car accident. A family member is very ill.  My best friend got her heart broken.  I left a job that I loved, along with the three men that not only gave me that job, but I had the pleasure of working with everyday.  I moved out of the house I grew up in, which may be a rite of passage, but I had to leave behind my dog which churns my insides enough to make me tear if I think about it for too long.  Along with my friends, family and all that is familiar.

Anyway, enough has happened this year to generate this trend of hatred.  I’m not going to join because it’d make me full of shit. I didn’t hate 2016. I think people greatly undermine the severity of their words more often times than not.  To hate an entire 12 months of a year from start to finish, would require an extreme amount of passion and dedication to hate anything and everything every. single. day. If that’s how you spend your year, I politely advise you to re-prioritize

I don’t think you hated 2016.  You definitely hated some of the things that happened in 2016, I’ll meet you there. This post is to not to discredit anyone who personally suffered anything in 2016 or point a finger at anyone else’s right to hate 2016.  Just don’t come at me with your “F*** 2016” nonsense.  All those terrorist attacks, police violence, discrimination and all else that happened throughout the world stemmed? A firm foundation of hatred.  Don’t be associated with hate because it’s a bad look.

Plus, there’s plenty of events worth recognizing and appreciating that happened in 2016 that no one will talk about because they’re caught up in all the hate. Unemployment rates are at pre-recession low. America became measles-free. Global malaria deaths have declined by 60%. Teen birth rate reaches an all-time low, and the number of women dying from pregnancy/childbirth has almost halved since 1990. Harriet Tubman will appear on the $20. World hunger reached its lowest point in 25 years.  Norway committed 0% deforestation. Multiple species are off the endangered species list.  And, the number of cigarette smokers in the U.S. has dropped 8.6 million since 2005.  I’m one of those 8.6 million. An old friend told me that you can’t tell people you’re “not a smoker” until your one year,  before that you’re just a “non-smoker.” I celebrated my one year non-smoking anniversary on Sept. 9. After 11 years, I am not a smoker.

In January, my (then) boyfriend graduated from USCG Training Center Cape May, New Jersey and began his career after suffering a year long existential crisis. My then boyfriend proposed to me and became my now husband.  I moved to Boston in not only my first apartment, but our first apartment together. I gained a new family, officially. Not a life I ever imagined, but that’ll happen when you think you know everything.  Friends and family are hitting similar milestones. Another little cousin was born, and one more is on the way. I watched my brother graduate as a Marine on Parris Island, as did the rest of my family, and begin his career. I celebrated Thanksgiving with almost my entire family for the first time in decades, which may very well not happen again for decades but I’ll always remember Thanksgiving 2016, because it was great.

Hate that you didn’t spend enough time with your family. Hate that you didn’t put the god damn phone down and have more real conversations. Hate that you spent just a little too much money this year. Hate that you care too much about money.  Hate the fact that you spent all this time bashing this past year of your life when you should really be appreciating it because you’re still here. You get another year.

 

Advertisements

Be Yourself, But Also, Don’t.

It’s 2:00 p.m. on a Friday.  I’m eating mindlessly, listening to the television and staring at my computer screen. My 20-year-old self would revel in the opportunity to be off on a Friday, sitting on her ass waiting for the promise of a fun weekend to unfold.  This is not the case for 26-year-old, newly married and freshly unemployed me.  Both are new concepts however I am only enjoying one of them. Being unemployed makes me want to rip my hair out.

I moved to a new city about a month ago. In the past few weeks, I have been on 5-6 in person interviews and have participated in just as many phone interviews.  Some were a complete waste of everyone’s time proving to be unsuccessful, then there were others that went extremely well, also proving to be unsuccessful.  There was one interview that went particularly well and I was even offered the job.  That was two weeks ago.  I’m still waiting for him to get back to me about my start date. I’ll go ahead and hold my breath.

I have been told that I shouldn’t complain because people have been without jobs and looking for far longer than a few weeks.  I have been told not to worry, the right job will come along.  I have been told that I am intelligent, interesting and capable of anything. My favorite is “just be yourself.” You mean as I sit here in this uncomfortable pantsuit that that I would never wear freely on my volition? Totally. And I know that you need to maintain a polished and professional demeanor during an interview, I know that that meeting is the first and only impression that will dictate whether you get that second interview or job. My point is that a healthy portion of the advice you’re given prior to an interview is bullshit, unless the person interviewing you is not a drone.

I was a full-time student for seven years while juggling several part-time jobs. I don’t know how to not work, but that’s my favorite thing about myself.  If I could have effortless, beautiful big hair everyday, that would be my favorite thing about myself, but that wasn’t a genetic gift bestowed upon me.

My resume is eclectic.  I can understand how that may not seem consistent to people during an interview. The interviews were always where I sealed the deal. But if you’ve already made up your mind about my resume before I get a chance to show you my personality, which as per your job description you’re looking for, then I don’t think I stood a chance. No matter where I went to school or how much money I spent on this fucking pant suit.

I have an AA in Liberal Arts and a BA in Multidisciplinary Studies with concentrations in journalism and sociology. I can make a killer recommendation on what cigar you’d enjoy, or perhaps what libation you’d like to pair it with. I can assist you with your AR and AP.  I am also capable of digitizing, archiving and over seeing the destruction of sensitive and confidential documents. I know how to follow procedures but also implement more effective procedures to solve problems. Problems sometimes offices weren’t even aware they had.
I also have a personality, that so many job postings require, and that personality proved to be interesting enough to make it to radio.

I actually did something different, every single day. I took chances, I put myself out there. It made me a fast learner, it kept me constantly interested and eager to do any job that came my way. It made me malleable to a work place: independent or working with a group, slow and meticulous or fast paced and chaotic. I know how to stay on top of tasks and people to make sure an office operates smoothly, because that’s just the type of person I am. Maybe because I’m from New York, people in this new state are not to keen on me?

I consider that a possibility.

I’m not shooting for the moon either when applying to these jobs because I’m realistic. I have no job experience in this state, I don’t know my surroundings very well, there is a gap in my administrative background and I do have a very broad degree of study. I take that into consideration because I have been apart of the hiring process. These things are not deal breakers, but they can put you at a disadvantage. I’m applying to jobs in industry’s I find interesting with requirements I’m more than capable of meeting. I’m not applying blindly and showing up with a lack of enthusiasm.  I wouldn’t hire that person either. But I’m not that person. I’m the person that’s gone above and beyond to demonstrate the ability and desire to be a resource. Applying and getting responses has proved to be somewhat successful, hence the number of interviews I have participated in.

So now I’m physically in the interview. I’m dressed in the one suit I own because that’s what you’re told to wear.  And what happens next is a pathetic exchange of questions, on both of our parts. You want to know about a time where I showed leadership, I want to know your favorite part of your job.  I tell you about a time that I’ve already explained during this interview because although the question is worded differently, you’ve already asked me this.  You tell me, everything about your job is your favorite because no day is the same. Excellent chat.  All your answer conveyed to me is that you couldn’t be more uninterested to have a conversation with me. That’s a real self-esteem killer for someone who spent days over preparing to sell themselves to someone who doesn’t even care to talk to them. But, when you’ve made it a point to become the equivalent to a slab of marble in these situations, you don’t let it break your spirit. Consider me a newly installed counter top with a fresh coat of sealant.

This is only the case for some interviews, clearly considering I’ve held a job before. I am still friends or friendly with every manager or boss I’ve had in the past 13 years. I’ve been on a lot of great interviews, like the one I went on yesterday. Everyone was extremely personable, we had great conversation. It was natural, it was authentic and it felt as if no time had gone by. I think it was my most successful interview yet, will I get the job? Who knows, I’m not a good judge when it comes to these things anymore.

My problem is not with the interviewing process. You do need to be interviewed for a position and you need to rock it. Someone else may need this job more than you and want it more than you, honestly they just might be better for the job than you. But when will the questions and the stigma change?  Am I supposed to put on a pair of tap shoes and close with a number on top of the conference room table? All I’m looking for is a starting point.

Quite frankly, I’m just frustrated with my new life so far.  I did what everyone told me to do. I went to college, I had good internships, I networked. Even with years experience in a professional environment in addition to my academics, extracurricular activities, awards and internships, I somehow don’t make the cut for entry level positions.

I’m categorized into the generation that gets criticized for being on the phone too much, yet somehow I’m not qualified enough to answer your telephone.  That must be some telephone!